Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,

'Fool' said my Muse to me, 'look in thy heart and write.' -Philip Sydney

"Miss!" an 11 year old's face is 2 inches from mine. "Miss, you have pretty eyes. Your eyes are blue!" The chocolate eyes of the young child gazes into mine. This is the 8th kid to compliment my eyes. It makes me think of Toni Morrison's story The Bluest Eye.

It's only been 3 months since I've been working with the middle schoolers, and I already have grown attached to a large amount of them. They aren't bad kids, they just behave badly, and who can blame them when you realize that most of them are the product of adults who act and behave just like them.

A majority of these middle schoolers have the reading level of a first grader.

60% live with someone other than their parents.

Many of them live in the projects across the street, but some show up late or skip school.

By 8am, a student has been handcuffed and taken away, 2 students have gotten in a fist-fight and a mob of kids have run to watch the violence.

Conversely,

A majority of these middle schoolers that I have talked to want to go to college.

The majority of them don't get enough attention, but when they do they smile and they thrive.

Many of them know my name and give me a hug or high five in the morning.

By 8pm, I've had conversations with students about their weekend, their classwork, how they are feeling, and what is going on in their life.

Right now, I couldn't see myself in any other place. I really want to help these kids because I believe in them. I want to see them when they're my age, when they're heading in the right direction and know that I might have contributed to that. Every day is rough for me. It's emotionally, physically and mentally draining. Many days I work for 12+ hours. But it has/it's going to be an even rougher road for them. I just have to keep everything in perspective.